Autumn has always been a time of renewal for me. I love the cooler weather and the changing colors as nature prepares for her winter’s sleep. There is something exciting in the crisp air. I guess I really love change. I think I’d be bored silly if I lived in a climate that didn’t change. I enjoy the ritual of putting away summer clothes and bringing out the richer warmer fall and winter ones. Changing small things in the house to make it feel warmer like exchanging a light yellow tablecloth for an earthy red one. The changing seasons spark my creativity. The rituals, as rituals are supposed to, take me back through various times in my life.
Shifting into this new season brings back memories of past autumns and winters and who and what was happening in my life at the time. They make me think that maybe I could have taken a more main stream path or made “better” choices. Then I realize the truth, that something main stream wasn’t my path. And my life, as it is, is the evidence of that. The end result of my choices is ME. Right now and I have no regrets.
Stuart Wilde says that we go through lifetimes in our lifetime. I believe this is true for us as individuals because we are constantly evolving. It is also true for the agreements and situations we experience in our lives. I can look at past relationships, jobs or friendships and see that each of these had a lifetime. These lifetimes relate perfectly to the seasons. I can remember the excitement and promise of a new beginning as Spring, the strengthening of commitment and growth as summer, the falling away of commitment as autumn and, finally, the ending of commitment, winter.
Winter was the time of metabolizing the experience. This was time spent with my self, working through judgment, blame, guilt and forgiveness. That was a process, gritty and real but it brought about closure and the courage to take another risk. Every person and every situation that has ever been in my life has been there to show myself to me. Everyone is a teacher. Everyone is a mirror and what I like or dislike in them is what I like or dislike in myself. Springtime always returned bringing another opportunity to start again, feeling like a different human being having grown from the lessons of the previous experience.
As difficult as some of those times were they were invaluable because they were opportunities to look at my life, to pull inward, and figure out who I was and what I really wanted. They were opportunities to stretch, and be uncomfortable and wait to see what new adventure would arise out of the discomfort.
Change and our response to it is the dance of life. It is to be embraced not resisted. Change is a constant, growth is a choice.
There is no safety or security that comes from the outside. My security comes from knowing who I am, my oneness with Spirit and the support that is all around me. And it comes from knowing that what ever is happening will change because I will change as a result of it. If I can just allow it, a far wiser, more creative and benevolent energy always moves on my behalf. And that I can count on.
“We are all verbs. God is the only noun”. Deepak Chopra