When you love and value yourself the quality of love you give and attract is healthy. You are letting the Universe know what you want just by valuing your self. You are setting an energetic standard. Remember, we always teach others how to treat us and that starts with how we treat our selves. Unless you give yourself the quality of love you desire you cannot attract the quality of love you desire. It is a fantastic circle.
Usually it is much easier to value and love others regardless of whether they return it or not. If we come from a Christian or religious background we have been taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Even if you don’t come from a religious back ground in this lifetime this is an energy that most of us carry with us from past lifetimes. Religion aside, you might look at giving to your self as being selfish or something you will do when the kids are grown and gone. You might be dead by then! Maybe you are a woman who was brought up to believe that you, the individual, disappeared when you got married and your identity from then on was wife and mother in service to your husband and family. What happens is that we begin to get our cues as to how to treat ourselves from the way others treat us so we lose ourselves in taking care of others thinking that the more we do the better they will like or love us and there in lies our value. That is a lie.
Deepak Chopra uses the term Object Referral vs. Self Referral. Object Referral means that you blame what goes on outside of you for your present circumstances and Self Referral means that you take responsibility for creating your present circumstances. I think you can use the same concept when it comes to valuing yourself. Does your value depend on the response or input of others or do you give value to yourself not only the way you give it to others but the way you want others to give it to you? Do you take care of you or are you the last person on the list that you are nice to? It all starts with you. Self love is not selfish it increases your capacity to give and receive love in a healthy way.